What do you want from dating?
Before you enter a relationship, or start meeting new people, it is always a good idea to have in mind what it is you are looking for. Are you looking to start a serious relationship? Do you just want friendship or companionship? Are you after the love of you life who you can build a future with? Or maybe you are simply after someone to share fun times with, initially anyway and see where things lead. Whatever you are looking for from dating, it is important that you are honest from the start to yourself and to the people you meet.
If you are looking for a serious relationship which you hope will eventually lead to marriage and possibly a family, then there is no point in dating someone who you know are just out to have a good time. You might feel like you can ‘change’ them, but this rarely happens. You will be playing a dangerous game if you decide to date someone who is not great long-term date material. No matter how much you enjoy being with them, you need to be realistic. This isn’t to say that you can never change someone; it just rarely happens and can only occur if the other person is willing to change.
Alternatively you may be looking for a casual relationship and haven’t even given your future a second thought. In this case, it isn’t fair to string someone along if you know they are looking for a more serious relationship especially if you have no intention of giving them what they want. If possible, stick to dating people who are after a casual relationship too.
Being open from the start about what you want from a relationship, or friendship is a must. However, there are several ways to do this. Never appear desperate and give exact dates for future plans or even names for your future children; you risk scaring off absolutely everyone you date. Being open about your intentions doesn’t mean sharing every single detail of the hopes and dreams you have. If you date someone who is looking for something different in life to you, don’t pretend that you are happy with that. Why should you sacrifice your relationship plans? You need to be sensible and put yourself first. There is no point in staying in a relationship that has no future for you both. Before you make a decision, make sure you are aware of your dates’ intentions. If you do hope to settle down one day, be open about it. You don’t want to end up dating someone who doesn’t know the real you, so never change who you are just to please others.
Many relationships are successful even though initially both people involved were looking for different things. A connection between two people is sometimes so strong that any future plans change and adapt to the lives of those involved. However this isn’t something that can be predicted or planned in advance. When you start to meet new people, you may have to ask yourself what is more important to you; being with someone, or following your relationship dreams.